So, minimal damage after a yummy pecan roll Sunday night.  I have one more graveyard shift to go and then we'll see how that affects my weight loss.  I am at 239.2 when I woke up around 15:00 today.  I'm happy to see the 230s again.  I extremely happy to be losing instead of steadily gaining.  Tomorrow when I get up, I'd like to go lift or run before I pick up my kids.  Just get some energy created.

Okay... I'm a little excited.  Saturday I did my scheduled 3 mile run/walk.  It was tough.  I'm not going to lie.  I have to base and building it is tough.  Today, I was scheduled to run 2 minutes and walk 2 minutes.  I was super worried, one minute of running has been hard.  I did it.  I really did it.  That last 2 minute run I did quit 15 seconds earlier - I was just tired.  That part is mental, I know.  I should have pushed through.  Next time I will.  I'm feeling great!

I do have to admit, I made pecan rolls last night.  I ate two.  They were delicious.  This morning, I woke up feeling bloated and yucky.  Seriously yucky.  Sugar isn't worth it --- PERIOD.  

Alright - time to clean out the fridge.  I've been dreading it for weeks.  It has to be done.  

Feeling great.  I did some tabata at the gym today.  I selected exercises that are specific for running.  It felt good!  I am tired.  I will admit to a nap each day this week.  I need to get my vitamins and minerals going. I'm still going down in weight.  My body is feeling so much better.  Loving KETO WOE!

I'm feeling great.  I know that cookies and cinnamon rolls taste DELICIOUS but the side effects of the sugar just aren't worth it to me right now.  Today, I'm going to plan some menus with food I have on-hand.  Planning is key.  I need to be on top of things.

I ran again today. Only 30 minutes of running 1 minute and walking 2 minutes.  It feels like I accomplished something!  The fire guys were running and asked me to jump in.  I did for a couple minutes.  Never again will I not be in shape enough to do this.  I want to healthy.  I want to be physically capable of running a 5k always.

I love eating this way.  I  feel better.  My energy is better.  My mind is more clear.  I'm not bloated.  I went 9 days without eating sugar and felt so good.  Then.... I made cinnamon rolls.  I had one, then two.  They tasted fabulous but physically felt terrible.  The next morning, I started KETO again.  I can do this.  I haven't lost the weight I was hoping to.  I attribute this to eating to many almonds, which equaled too many carbs.  Same with carrots.  Too many carbs. For the next two weeks, I'm not going to eat any nuts and definitely no carrots.  I believe this will make a huge difference in the weight loss.  I'm excited to see.

It's been just over a week and I'm feeling much better about myself.  Not much has changed physically but mentally I feel like I'm moving in the right direction.
I ran Wednesday with my friend H - It felt good to move again.  I was soooo tired and my feet hurt from the extra weight.  Tomorrow we have our "long" run of 3 miles.  I actually can't wait.  I forgot how great it is to run with someone.  Running was extremely social for  me and it's such an added bonus.
Eating is going great.  I'm trying the KETO way of eating.  I'm on day 3 of no sugar.  I feel good.  I should be in ketosis soon.  I hope I haven't had too many carbs.  I'm not tracking and I just realized the gum I chew has 2 carbs.  Um...
I'm reading my scriptures and saying my prayers.  I'm trying to be better.  I can do this.

I wish I could describe how I am feeling.  It's weird.  PHYSICALLY I feel old and creaky.  My body hurts.  I'm not balanced.  I feel like I'm growing out of my skin - like the fat doesn't know where to go.  I look at my face and I want my skinny face back.  I went for a walk and ran a little today.  It felt sooo good to have my body moving and air moving in my mouth and nose.  It's weird but I noticed the air temp and the smells around me.
This has affected me MENTALLY too.  I haven't had an "out" for so long.  No mental relief.  Everything just gets stored inside of my head.  Now I have so much crammed in there it's hard to sort everything out.  My confidence level is pretty dang low.  It's funny what saying no to sugar and crap can do for you.  It really does BUILD you.  It moves you FORWARD.  It creates a new YOU.  I need that new me back.  I need the confidence.  I need the feeling you get crossing the finish line.  I loved that feeling.  I crave that feeling.  I want the craving to finish to be stronger that the craving for sugar.  I know I can have it again.
Another aspect for me that I can't ignore is my SPIRITUAL fitness.  A habit that I'm also going to work on is praying - morning and night.  I know that this will carry me.  I am going to read my scriptures and study the gospel daily.  Even if it's listening to a conference talk or scriptures.  Anything to feed my spiritual self.
INTERNALLY - How will I FUEL my body?  What way of eating is going to create the best me?  I've been reading a lot about the KETO diet.  I really like what I'm reading.  I've listened to a few hours of podcasts.  It makes sense.  It clicks to me.  When I eat this way I feel good.  I don't feel bloated.  I don't feel gassy.  My stomach doesn't hurt.  My mind is clear.

I know that if I record my feelings daily it will keep me on track.  I just need to keep myself accountable.    I will write more later as I figure out how to get me moving and eating right.  I have to do it.  I don't want to be diabetic.  I don't want to have a heart attack.  I want to move forward.  I want to live.