I've selected Sunday as my weigh in day.  I just need a consistent day to get on the scales.  Earlier this week I was at 244.6 and today I was at 239.8 - that's great to see.  I KNOW that keto works.  I just have to get my crap together and do it.  I can't afford not to.  I'm not going back to the 240s!  Bye! Bye!

Running was tough yesterday.  I intended to do my long run of 5 miles.  Instead, my body was tired, lethargic.  Running was hard.  Even after getting through the first mile, it was still hard.  I did 3 miles in 50 minutes (SLOW) and quit.  At my peak of running I was running a 10:30 mile - right now I'm at 13:30.  I'm so slow.  I will get faster as I get stronger.

Keto doesn't fuel my body right now for running.  It will - I know that it will after I become fat adapted.  This gives me even more reason to be strict and not look back.  I need the energy from fat. I need to be able to run.  I need to be healthier.  Running at this weight is pounding on my joints.  My feet are taking a beating.

I can do this!  I can.  I know I can.

"I'm an optimist.  If you dwell on the negative it will hurt you, depress you and really destroy you.  If you work on the positive and dwell on it and seek to bring it to pass, it will make you lighter and brighter, younger and more vigorous.  That's my feeling and that's my program."

President Gordon B. Hinckley

I am struggling.  I know what it takes.  I know what needs to happen.  I just keep praying that I can get it together enough to do it.  Life is never perfect.  Working out and eating right has to happen every day.  It shouldn't matter if I work graves, swing or days.  I have to make it a point to fit it in.  EVERY DAY.

I know that when I write on this blog it helps to keep me focused and I do much better.  I'm going to aim to do that each day.  Working out each day is going to keep me mentally strong.  My work, family and just life seems to weigh me down.  I need to be spiritually strong -- saying my personal prayers and reading the Book of Mormon is a must.  I have to fit this in.  Eating should be my easiest.  I'm trying to eat following the KETO guidelines.  I love it.  I don't feel achy, bloated and tired.  I have energy.  I can feel a difference when this is my focus.  

Action -- all of this needs to be put into action.  Consistent.  Every day.  Do it.

Today was pretty amazing.  It started out slow and I was pretty emotional from work last night.  I needed to do my long run today.  Fifteen minutes after starting, my calves and achilles were so tight.  I was dying.  I would run a half a lap and then walk then stretch.  They just were so tight and ached like crazy.  I did this awful routine for 5 or 6 laps - nothing seemed to help.  I was going to quit at 30 minutes and call it done.  It just hurt and I couldn't find any relief.  When I hit the 30 minute mark, I just kept going.  My calves were feeling much better.  I got to the 40 minute mark and thought I'd just push through to 45.  That turned into a 60 minute run.  I actually felt great.  Let me clarify.  I would walk half a lap and the run half a lap.  That's probably running 1 minute and walking 1.5 minutes.  It's not where my training schedule says I should be but it felt good.  Four miles was goal today and I'm sure I got it in.  I've got to get a new battery for my foot pod so I can use my garmin inside.

Eating is pretty crappy right now.  I did so good last night.  After work, I just binged.  Three cookies later and a half a jar of queso and my emotional frustrations were taken care of.

I know keto works. I know that I feel great eating that way.  I need 30 straight days of keto.  Just 30 --- one day at a time.
Have a great Friday!

Still feeling frustrated.  My eating is terrible.  I've been piecing on chips, carrots and almonds.  Last night I made cookies and ate three.  Today, I made cookies and ate three.  What's wrong with me?  I work and day shift and a swing the next day.  I know that sugar makes my brain foggy.  I can't have a foggy brain tomorrow.  I've got to be able to focus.

What do I do?  Do I go back to eating regular?  Do I stick with Keto.  I really love how I feel eating Keto.  I feel better.  My body feels better.  I'm not seeing results because I'm not sticking to this way of eating.  I need to plan.  This is a common thought over the past 30 years of my life.  I have to do this.  I'm running a half marathon in June.  I can't run it at this weight.  I have to focus.  I have to do this.

I found this thought.  I love it.  Today was hard.  Running was hard.  Lack of sleep.  I'm getting a cold.  I'm not eating the way I want to eat.  If Marc can fight what he's fighting - I can fight my eating habits.  I can do this.

Planning
Breakfast - scramble eggs and sausage
Lunch - ham and cheese
Snack - celery and cheese
Dinner - Pork Roast, Broccoli (roasted with parmesan)
 Done - Planning is done.

I just get all excited about this and then I slide in my eating.  Too many carbs. This is going to sound wrong but I eat too many carrots.  I love them.  They are so sweet and yummy to me.  As a result, the scale is not moving in the right direction.  I'm frustrated with myself.  I know what I have to do - why am I not doing it?
Planning - I need to plan.  I need to track.

Another tired day.  Not sure if it's Keto flu or what.  I'm just physically exhausted.  I did get up and go to the gym.  No running today but a tabata work out.  I walked for a few minutes to warm up and then got my timer out and a mat to work on.  I looked in the big mirror and just saw fat.  Seriously.  It was a moment I won't forget.  When I looked in the mirror I just saw fat.  I didn't want to be in front of that mirror.  I put everything away and walked the track a couple times.  Then it hit me - That mirror wasn't going to win.  I needed to go back and work.  I got everything back out and went to work.  I only did it 4 times and I focused on my upper body with some leg raises.  When I was done, the person in the mirror wasn't the same person.  I just saw me - It was all okay.  So glad I did my tabata today.
Just a note - I've done something to my foot.  It hurts on top.  I'm guessing a stress fracture or the beginning of one.  I'm icing it today an taking ibuprofen.  I can't stop running at this point.  I just started and I'm going to need all the time I can to be ready to run the half marathon in June.
I've noticed a few things.  The awesome Nike jacket I got for Christmas was tight around the hips and I had to pull it to get it to zip.  Not any more.  It is loose when I zip it.  My pants are also getting looser in the butt and waist.  I'm not loosing as fast as I would like but things are happening.
Weight loss - I think I'm eating too many carbs.  I know that almonds are killing me.  I know that I will lose at a faster rate if I don't eat them.  They are such an easy go to food -- that needs to be fixed and soon.
Well - Happy Friday!  I'm icing my foot now and then it's off to the shower and house cleaning.  Have a great Friday!

I ran today.  I've had graveyard shifts for the past two night and I totally felt them today.  Running was hard.  I was tired.  When I got out of the shower, I got dressed and just crashed.  Who knew that I needed motivation to blow dry my hair.
When i work graves, everything is off.  Eating, sleeping, workouts... everything in life.  It's weird.  I need to work it out though and get through it.
ug... that's how I'm feeling.